There's nothing like an injury, illness or major life set back to get you reflecting on how your life is going up to that point. Since I had my first-ever surgery lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking about that.
If I died tonight, I just want everyone to know that I am really happy and grateful for the life I have been given. Sure, the first 20 years or so were really rough. I used to think about how much "better" things would be if only I didn't have to go through some of those tragic childhood experiences. I also had another life-altering setback in 1995 when Steve had an affair. But I'll tell you this (and I mean it with every fiber in my body): I don't regret any of it and I wouldn't change anything if I was given the chance.
Why? It's simple. Those experiences, both the good ones and the bad ones, made me the person I am. The things I struggled with helped me to appreciate just how good I have it now. I recognize how blessed I am and how far I have come, especially in the past 22 years.
Just so you know: if I died tonight, I would die a happy and fulfilled woman. Everything I have ever wanted has come to me (even though, God knows, I don't particularly deserve it). Specifically, my husband, children, family and friends are blessings that I never would have believed would come my way. I have a nice home, my kids are happy and healthy, I love Steve more today than I did on the day we were married. Although it would be great to have an Audi A5, or a job that paid $150,000 a year, or a fancy house in San Diego, the truth of the matter is that those things are just icing on the cake.
I love that my daughters enjoy spending time with me. I love that they sing songs in the car that range from the latest hip-hop to Disney tunes to Aretha Franklin's greatest hits. I love that I have a little dog that loves everyone who comes to the door (provided she gets to bark at them first), a cat that purrs louder than a Harley Davidson, parents and in-laws who belive in me, and friends whom I can always count on to help me out when I need it. I love it that I have had the opportunity to go to college and challenge myself not once but four times. I love it that our family has created traditions (like picking raspberries and making homemade jam, cutting down our own Christmas tree, tromping through the tulip farms, watching family movies and playing cards) that the girls may some day pass on to their own families. I love to be able to pay our bills. I love to spend time watching the girls play softball.
Really, it just doesn't get any better than this. Just so you know: I love this life.
Thank you, Lord, for these and the countless other blessings you have given me.